Here's the first writing project I have for you guys. Like or not, there's more to come:

Your Guide to the Community of DragonRO!

Introduction: You Got Yourself Into This

Bienvenidos and mabuhay, friend! You’ve stumbled across quite possibly the most complex private Ragnarok Online server The Internet has to offer! What is this place of mystery you ask? Well, assuming this document hasn’t been mercilessly cut from its original area of publishing, the big title at the top of this page should tell you where you are.

That’s right, you’re in Vana’diel.

But in all seriousness, this is DragonRO, also known as “dramaRO.” But you’ll find out why we’re nicknamed that on your own. So, what should you expect from a server that is nearly three years old? Nothing much, but here’s a sampling:

- A friendly(?) community
- A competent(?) staff
- Whining bastards
- Awesome bastards
- Bastards in general (well, I think everyone here has a father, so ignore this one)
- Elitist punks
- Elitist nerds
- Imperialistic know-nothings
- Knowledgeable know-nothings
- Inflammatory orators
- Good grammar
- Bad grammar
- Terrible grammar
- Assassins. Lots and lots of Assassins.

This guide is here to help you so that you won’t become one of those types of people listed above (save for the good attributes. You’ll want to aspire to be one of those). Included in this guide is helpful advice in various subjects, featuring:

- Your First Day in the Forums
- Your First Day in-game
- How to spot an idiot
- Choosing the right guild
- Understanding the GM Team
- Understanding the Player Base
- Understanding the obsessions of some of the members of the community
- Democracy in America

As you can tell, this guide will go on as long as it needs to. You don’t have to follow my advice though. Some just prefer to shoot the breeze and hope they end up succeeding. They end up banned instead. So, brave fledgling dROnian, do you have what it takes to be part of this quagmire of miscellany? Then I advise you to create a character, and be prepared for the thrill of no lifetime.

Yours in-game but never in real life,
Cenese

In the next issue of "Your Guide," we cover the subject of: Your First Day

Disclaimer!
Even though this is passed off as a guide, the views and opinions of the author do not reflect the overall attitude of DragonRO or its affiliates. In no way should you take this guide seriously should it sound unusual at times. Trust me, it'll sound weird everywhere. The author would still like to see proper grammar around here, though. Whatever he says in this thing is his opinion alone. You are warned again: Do not take this guide seriously. That is all.

EDIT BY CUISI:

here's a Table of Contents, complete with hyperlinks, for easy browsing. enjoy.



Section One: Your First Day, Part One: The Forums
Section Two: Your First Day, Part Two: Getting in the Game
Section Three: The GM Team of dRO
Section Four: The Archetypes of the dRO Community
Section Five: The Biting Issues (The Controversial Section, Minus the Sex)
Section Six: Legendary Players and Noteworthy Guilds
Appendix A: Democracy in dRO
Appendix B: Glossary of Terms
Appendix C: The Jobs of this Game
Postscript: One Final Recommendation

I'm very flattered! To show my gratitude, have another Wall of Text:

Unidad Uno, Etapa Uno: Your First Day, Part One: The Forums

By now you’ve installed, patched, and are now playing RO through Alt+Tab. Good for you! You’re getting ahead of yourself and should slow down, but it’s preferred that you start over. There are a few things you should do before you hit that empty space to create your artificial self in-game:

- Make a Forum Account
- Make an account in-game

For the sake of space, we will only cover the Forums in this installment.

First, you have your Forum account. All you need to do is simply register with our Forum and post in the introduction subsection in the “Random Stuff” area. By introducing yourself, you’re making yourself an active member of the community instead of some soulless drone who only logs on the game and the game only, opening up the suspicion that you’re botting. Being a member of the Forums as well as the game gives the following benefits:

- You can make your voice be heard, because we ignore Guest users
- Your opinions will have a slightly deeper meaning in them
- You have successfully added two (2) years to your maximum life expectancy
- You now have access to some other exclusive subforums, like the forbidden “Adults Only” section
- You have marked yourself for the vets just in case your grammar sucks

Speaking of good grammar, it’s recommended that you have it. You’ll be easier to read and people won’t make fun of you behind your back as often. If English isn’t your first language, it’s okay. You have room to work with. For those raised under an English-speaking roof and still go out of their way to pass off “plz” as a legitimate word, you have earned my scorn and perpetual refusal to leech you. So, do your very best to be readable, okay?

While we’re on the topic of Forums, you should also familiarize yourself with the sections. You have:

- Payon Square
- Random Stuff
- How to Connect
- Bugs and Glitches
- Custom Quests
- Merchants
- Suggestions
- Fan Fictions and Pictures
- Norse Mythology
- News
- Polls

Payon Square is where people go to learn about what’s happening on the server. On occasion you’ll read about people leaving the server or people hosting their own homegrown events. I tried hosting my own event once, and people didn’t express interest. At all. But don’t let that stop you. Chances are if you have boobs people will pay attention to you.

Random Stuff is a place where you can talk about subjects not related to RO. Chances are you’ll be talking about video games more than anything else. You’ll also find the Introductions and Games section here. Go out of your way to read into those. It really helps your post count.

How to Connect is what it says. Just follow the directions in there and you’re guaranteed a medal.

Bugs and Glitches is a place where well-meaning individuals post about Bugs or potential exploits in-game for the GMs to look into. Of course, cheaters and asshats use this place to find out about those exploits and use them to fulfill their sick and twisted fantasies. If you see those jerks doing what’s not supposed to be done, feel free to insult them. Chances are they’ll overreact and supply you with minutes of entertainment.

Custom Quests is a place where you can receive a quest for an item that’s really hard to get through legitimate means. It doesn’t matter anyway. Most of the quests the Quest Team gives you are as hard as twenty-year-old Werthers Originals. Only do this if you’re into sadomasochism.

Fan Fictions and Pictures means what it says. Post pictures or pieces of writing and get feedback. You’ll do a lot better here if you draw, because if you try to post a written piece the only comments you’ll get are as follows, assuming they get read at all:

“ I didn’t read your material at all but based on <name>’s opinion it must be really good.”

“Tits or GTFO.”

“You’re gay.”

Or, you’ll get a shopped picture resembling your utter failure, promptly followed by a “j/k.” So for you Dickenses out there- you’ve been warned.

All the other subforums are negligible. Nobody will take your suggestions or comments and no one gives a damn about Mythology. Well, I do, but not the Norse kind.

Keep in mind the general rules when posting in any of these Forums. Don’t insult people because that starts a Flame War. Flame Wars are full of garbage and usually takes an intelligent person to end them. Either that or a pimp slap from one of the Forum Mods.

Avoid spam. Shoulder Pork and Ham is a delicious meat substitute that should be a part of every College Kid’s diet. Spam is the Down Syndrome of The Internet and should be avoided. Replies that are grossly off-topic count as spam and warrant a boot in the ass. Don’t do it.

Well, those are the two basic rules. Everything else you can make up as you go. That’s how America’s Presidents do it at least. With that I leave you, the reader, to your own devices. Make anything explode and I’m pretty sure you won’t get any love from any of us until you reach your High Class, and even that won’t save you if you don’t know how to use a period.

Don’t shoot off one-liners!
Cenese

In the next installment of “Your Guide” : Your First Day In-Game

Section Two: Your First Day, Part Two: Getting in the Game

Now that you have the hang of forum browsing, it’s time to play the game. After downloading and installing the necessary material, open up Sak X and create a character. Be very careful how you name your character and how it looks, because you won’t be able to go back and change the name or hairstyle. But that comes later.

Let’s talk gender. You can determine your character’s gender by adding a _M or _F at the end of your user name at the login screen. Mature and understanding individuals won’t care what gender you choose. Sadly, this server’s population is full of horny teenage boys who want nothing but the view of pixilated boobies. Think carefully before choosing your gender. If you’re comfortable with playing as a character not matching your real sex, then by all means scar some people. It may even work to your advantage.

For example, if you play as a female, you may get special treatment. Some fools may even give you free items or a tank in an attempt to “romance” you. I can assure you that those scrubs have no life and warrant a reality check. If you’re a dude who plays a girl, feel free to discard your veil and ruin the fun for the idiot. Sure, you may make an enemy or have the privilege to read a few swears, but most of the time the reaction is well worth it. Ask any male who plays as a Mithra in FFXI to see what I mean. Just keep in mind that keeping up the charade for a prolonged period of time may cause severe and long-running consequences.

Male characters make up about 75% of the server’s population. Yes, you’re in for a sausage fest, folks. But remember that you’re here to have fun above everything else. How you go about getting your fix of entertainment is entirely up to you.

After gender, pick your name. Most people are content with slapping the keyboard and jumbling out anything that comes out. Others choose their name by hobby. Others just choose a random set of letters and numbers and end up being the most powerful players on the server. Unfortunately, those few who choose that path get no respect from the community and receive ridicule for their poor grasp of grammar and syntax. Choose your name carefully, because that’s how most people judge you. Skill be damned.

I won’t go into jobs, because you can find plenty of guides regarding those. Just remember that you are assumed an idiot if you choose Assassin. If you decide to be a Wizard and get really high level, new people will pester you to the ends of the earth for a leech. All other jobs have their strengths and weaknesses. Just know you won’t last long if you don’t bother leveling.

Now that you have some firm knowledge of what people see in characters, it’s time to interface with the people themselves. Feel free to treat the game like your own personal chat program and take up space in the server’s capital, Payon. Sometimes you’ll see people dueling each other, only for one of the contenders to complain at the end of the duel when they die. That’s common. Ignore it.

If you see anyone type in all caps, they’re probably retarded. Caps Lock is a symbol of immaturity and the inability to control one’s bladder. Don’t bother with it unless you aren’t potty trained.

As you progress along the game other players will commend you for your skill in battle and (hopefully) good speech. Maybe you’ll get lucky and get an invite to a guild. Guilds are fun little throngs where people can band together and kick the ever-loving snot out of other guilds in something called the War of Emperium. Don’t worry about that yet, though. We’ll cover that in another section.

Take the time to learn the interface of the game. High level skills won’t do you any good if you don’t understand what they specifically do and how often you can use them. Politely ask veteran players of the same job as you for advice and pointers. When you show respect, you’ll get some in return. Booting someone in the ass warrants a boot in your ass as well.

No whining, please. Some people forget that this is a game and make big things out of the smallest issues. If you yourself are tempted to start cussing in anguish, remember this phrase:

What would Jaylor do?

You’ll find out more about him later, but rest assured you can follow his example.

Well, I think I’ve told you all there is to know about what to expect in-game. I’m not here to spoon feed you all the mechanics of RO. Just dive right in and roll along with what you get. Just be sure to go outside from time to time.

… And if I see anyone begging in Payon Square, I’ll- you know, I can’t come up with anything witty to end this installment off. The next section will be better. I promise.

Wash your hands before setting your hotkeys!
Cenese

In the next installment of “Your Guide,” we’ll cover: The GM Team.

The following double post is made of awesome. You've been warned.

Section Three: The GM Team of dRO

GMs, or Game Masters, can either be your best friends or mortal enemies. They were tasked long ago to tend to the needs of the server and to help in any way possible. This of course was back when they were all still in high school and time was infinite for them. Now they can only log on when they can, but nobody should complain. Would you be able to handle the grave responsibility of reading the following whispers five hundred times a minute? I can tell you that I’d shoot myself if I was given the job of reading these:

“I ned a rset plz”

“OMG tht gy ttly chetted!”

“u suk”

“I tink ure hlpng tht perosn lvl”

“Can yu trn me to a <monster name> plz? Plzplzplzplzplzplzplz”

Yes, being a GM is a tough job, especially with the syntax genocide they have to deal with every time they log on. To help you the reader get to know these fine individuals, I’ll provide a list of the GMs and how they typically act. At the time of this writing, the GM Team consists of:

Jaylor
Leahcim
Drayke
Alucard
Yokozuki
ImmunityBow
Hedgie
Saga
CuisinartBlade

Disclaimer!
For the sake of me not getting banned and/or abducted, I would like to take the opportunity to say that in no way am I bashing the GM Team. You’d think I’d harbor a grudge against you guys? Honestly.

Without further ado and waiving of liability, let’s start off the analysis and continue in no apparent order.

CuisinartBlade (aka Cuisi or Phreak). This guy’s been on dRO ever since Day One (I think). Witnessing improper grammar and illogic since that Day One has turned him into a ruthless and sarcastic GM and Forum Mod. It’s best that you not make him mad, because he can either a) nuke you until you log out in frustration or b) lower your total post count. Both are sad fates. Also, he has an obsession with Evangelion and 4chan (everyone does nowadays). You’ll notice that his signature is a mile long and plastered with pictures of Rei. He is also infamous for image replies. Watch out for those, because they’ll cut you. Cut you bleeding.

ImmunityBow (aka Immu). One of the youngest and the newest GMs of dRO, ImmunityBow is also a Forum Mod. Unlike Cuisi, Immu takes his job seriously and doesn’t bother jerking on other players’ chains. He has a lot of time to ferment feelings of anguish and malice, so take advantage of his dedication while you can. Because once he cracks like all the other GMs did, you will know no safety zone.

Saga. By far Saga is our most dedicated GM and Developer. He is currently working on implementing two new job classes that everyone is pestering him about, as well as hosting the server itself. So if you really kick him off his rocker, he can easily axe the computer hosting our server, and the world would end. Or course, he’d have to infiltrate the facility where our server is located, so it’d just be easier for him to call the server HQ and ask the operators to just cut the server’s wires. When it comes to the actual life of the server, he is omnipotent. He also likes reading your whispers and guild chats in-game. Make them interesting, for he might nominate you for a Pulitzer if you do.

Hedgie. He is the Webmaster of the dRO website. He doesn’t log on that often because of that job, but he’s a GM anyway. Since I never see him in-game, I can’t judge him based on his actions in the game. From a Forum point-of-view, he enjoys shooting down your suggestions to improve the server. He has also mastered the Art of Making you Feel Bad by carefully articulating his posts regarding server suggestions in a way that would make even Gandhi turn violent. Other than that, he is a very dedicated individual and deserves some credit.

Alucard (aka Alu). Some people refer to him as the “Daddy” of the server for reasons I’d rather not type out. Alu is a dedicated in-game GM, not tethered to such responsibilities like keeping the server up or managing the website. As such, he takes the most requests for stat resets or disguises. I can understand stat resets, but asking for a disguise is just lame. I’d much rather see Alu nuke people who ask for disguises rather than give in to their demands. Not like he listens to those people anyway. I for one don’t.

Yokozuki (aka Yoko). If Alu is dRO’s Sugar Daddy, then Yoko must be the Mommy. Most of the time Alu and Yoko are both on at the same time thanks to the unholy powers of coincidence and love. Also a dedicated game GM, she has to deal with the same trash Alu does. She’s also a busy college student, and everyone knows college rocks a lot more than this place does. Rock on, Yoko. Rock on.

Leahcim. Who? Honestly I've never seen this guy around.

Drayke. The “Public Relations” GM, Drayke is supposed to relate to the public about incidents or events on dRO. I don’t see him do his job though, so he’s more of a “dead-weight” GM than anything else. He is a veteran like every other GM, so he does command respect from other players. Just don’t expect a medal when you do. Besides being the PR guy, he’s also a game GM. Bother him as you see fit.

Jaylor. He created dRO and also has the reputation of being the least-hated and most-admired person on the server. He no longer hosts the server due to issues he’d rather not disclose, but he still has total control over dRO despite what others say. Take the time to know him, because he’s a good guy. Feel free to fill-in the rest of his analysis with sycophancy and other such ass-kissery, because the overall tone of this passage doesn’t allow me to be very positive.

So now you know the GM Team of dRO. Know them. Love them. And for the sake of shwa, DO NOT ask for a disguise! I will personally not-kill you if you do.

If I missed any other GMs, they probably resigned. By doing so, they don’t deserve an analysis.

Click carefully after you get a reset!
Cenese

In the next installment of “Your Guide,” we will cover: The Archetypes of dRO.

Ladies and gentlemen, start reading!

Section Four: The Archetypes of the dRO Community

For those not in the know, an archetype is a set of characteristics that determine a personality. If you’re familiar with Carl Jung, you know what an archetype is. For example, Mario of Nintendo fame would fit the Hero archetype because of his self-sacrifice for the greater good. But this is my guide, so I’ll make up my own archetypes. This section of the guide will help you identity who belongs in what archetype, what you should expect from them, and what kind of behavioral pattern they follow. See if you can find one that you relate to the most!

The Philanthropist. No, not the anti-Metal Gear group, but the charitable people you see helping out others. Philanthropists often go out of their way to give items and equipment to new players, as well as giving them advice concerning how to play RO effectively. These kinds of people will also donate their talents to help others level. Most Philanthropists are nice people, and rarely will they go out in a burst of rage. Of course, push them and ask them for too much will warrant a violent mood swing. That’s what happened to me.

The Leech. These people are usually seen walking around Payon Square begging for a leech from anyone and anything, even if the person they’re asking is 50 levels higher than them. Leeches are ungrateful brats that will give nothing in return to those unlucky few who bothered wasting their time on them. Also, if you refuse a leech, they go on a hissy fit and ask a GM to nuke you. But no GM will listen to a leech, and probably nuke them instead. Like creeping out a pervert by revealing your true gender, seeing a nuked pissant provides minutes of entertainment.

The Sycophant. A “sycophant” is a “suck up.” As such, they always kiss the ass of their provider, whether it is a guildmaster or GM. Well, guildmaster and GM have the same initials, so they always kiss up to a GM. Like teacher’s pets, sycophants always aspire to curry the favor of their targets, usually to the disadvantage of the one receiving the attention. This practice is rather annoying and warrants ridicule. That usually shuts them up.

The Jerk. People like these are usually the targets of flame wars and random insults. This is for good reason. Jerks usually do something that earns the scorn of 75% of the server’s population, while the other 25% fail miserably to cover for the jerk. What do jerks do? Many things. They steal your kills, assault others in Payon Square, complain when they lose a duel, and rub it in when they win, accuse you of cheating, or type in all caps. Jerks come in many variations. Some will bother you if you take one of their castles during WoE, or they’ll just ruffle your feathers for the sheer sight of watching you squirm. Jerks are resilient folk, mainly because they don’t care if you try to insult them. They’ve become immune to that. You’ll be hard pressed not running into one. The best you can do to avoid a jerk is to become one, but by doing so you have agreed to forfeit all the love the server will ever give you.

The Hunger. No, not a boss from MGS3. People who suffer The Hunger always have an appetite for something they will never obtain, like a god item or reduced skill delay. When they can’t have what they want, they complain about it. This practice usually happens on the Forum in the wrong section. Many people hate hungry people because all they do is complain. They whine when they lose a duel, or they keep wishing dRO was back to the “Golden Age” where Assassin Crosses could kill anyone in one Breaker. Next to jerks, I hate hungry people the most. They’re the ones who spend more time complaining about something they can never have while they could be using that time leveling and maxing out their strengths. Use your time wisely, folks.

The Malicious. I know everyone will think they’re malicious, because being “dark” and “evil” is so popular nowadays. To spite you all, I’ll just say malicious people love sleeping with girly plush animals at night and put on clothing that doesn’t belong to their gender. Enjoy your new label!

The Joyful. These people are the most popular on the server due to their behavior and conduct both in-game and in-Forum. They rarely show anger or ill will, and always handle disputes in a kind and civilized manner. The way they talk never puts anyone in a bad position, and they are known to be great compromisers. It takes a lot to make them truly mad. As kind people, the joyful will go out of their way to help others like the philanthropists. Don’t always turn to them though, because like everyone else, they will crack. The jerks usually do that job.

The Idiot. The label says it all. These people do everything wrong, even when they say they're doing it right. If they're a guildmaster, they invite anyone who isn't in a guild with no regard as to how well the person might play. If they want a guild, they'll bother a guildmaster to the ends of the earth for an invite even after they get refused. Idiots are also impressionable and inflammatory. You can set them off easily. They are also the easiest to fool when it comes to playing a different gender. You can have hours of fun just sniping these kinds of people off, because no one else on the server will cover for them. These people are also infamous for their atrocious grammar and terrible people skills. Use this to your full advantage.

The Catchall. These are people I don’t want to bother categorizing, because they’re all the same. Their character cannot be easily judged and their attitudes are hard to lock in. They usually only care about things when they are directly affected by them, and deal with it in any way they see fit. Think of the Catchall as the Red Mage. They can’t decide where to go and so touch on all bases. Of course, since I ripped the Malicious label a new one, everyone will flock to this label. In that case, I’ll go out of my way by saying that all Catchall people sleep with plush animals at night. Cute girly plush animals.

Have you found the archetype that suits you most? Good, because you’re probably wrong. I’d recommend a thorough soul searching before you label yourself. Unless of course you hold yourself to a low standard and take anything you get. Losers.

You’re labeled whether you like it or not!
Cenese

In the next installment of “Your Guide,” we’ll look at: Dealing with Issues.

This is quite possibly the most serious section of the guide to date, so don’t expect many laughs. To compensate, I’ll have something a tad funnier next time.

Section Five: The Biting Issues (The Controversial Section, Minus the Sex)

By now you’ve familiarized yourself with RO’s game mechanics and the basic attitudes of dRO’s denizens. That’s great! That doesn’t matter if you don’t jump in and speak your mind about things, because a server without change is a server you shouldn’t be a part of. What is this section about? Well, many things. This section of “Your Guide” will cover what everyone usually argues about or talks about, or thinks about doing someday. It’s up to you whether or not you want to tackle these issues. Some are small, while others are like cancerous growths that require medical attention. Try to get in on some of those, especially the tumor-sized ones. Someone must tackle the big issues. Otherwise dRO will get Cancer. Prostate Cancer.

Here are some of the issues you, the dRO Denizen, will have to deal with someday (or today. Or never, if nobody cares about them. That’s fine in some cases):

WoE Times. War of Emperium, as it is known to those who hate acronyms, is a time where guilds go against each other in pitched combat for things called “castles.” At the time of this writing, or at the time before this writing’s posting, WoE times are a very sensitive topic. Not everyone can be online to fight this thing! Should you not be able to fight in a WoE, the best thing you can do is express your opinion. Alas, some are quick to forget that Hedgie does not forgive (or rather, Anonymous doesn’t forgive, but nobody cares about Guest users anyway). Of course, you can persist to bitch, and something will get changed about it. At the very least, you’ll get to change your clothing someday. Or your skin, because that changes on a weekly basis.

Guild Monopolies. Back when my guild, Nerd Alert!, was in its prime, we faced some pretty healthy competition among three other guilds. Based on what I’m seeing today, only two guilds fight seriously during WoE. What do I have to say about this? Splinter, people! WoEs are more engaging when more than two guilds are involved. Instead of making this server-wide event a posse fight, make it a world war! Trust me, it isn’t fun when one or two guilds hold all of the castles. Not only does it hurt for guilds that are without castles, but it is also an administrative nightmare to pay for the investments in the castles that the leading guilds own. Follow my advice and let a few other guilds fly their flags. Besides, it’s very entertaining when people make frantic dashes to take back “what is rightfully theirs.” Just expect to do the same when your stuff gets taken.

Mood Swings. Everyone has these from time to time, and not just the women and estrogen-poisoned men. Some blame their mood swings on something that happened to them out-of-game, or a chemical imbalance. The person suffering these swings will usually take their rage out on the community, and that’s annoying. You have two options when that happens: You either a) Lash back at the aggressor, which starts a Flame War and several pages worth of sadistic entertainment, or b) Let the person run their course. The preferred plan of action is to let the person who’s angry deal with their own issues. Trust me, when a person is enraged, it is best to leave them alone. That makes them cool off the quickest. If the person’s mood swing is more on the depressed-and-they’re-going-to-kill-themselves mode, then ignore them. You don’t need to be entangled with their personal matters, and they don’t need to be entangled with yours. Besides, they’re probably faking that attitude for undeserved attention. That kind of stuff has happened several times on occasion on this server. And yes, this is the section where you find out why DragonRO is also known as “DramaRO.”

Overblown Threads. These kinds of things are usually started in-game and end up somewhere on the Forum for all judging eyes to see. Typically, Idiot A does something menial to Idiot B that really sets Idiot B off. Idiot B then logs on to the Forums, where he or she starts a thread typed mostly in caps about how he or she was wronged and how the game is so unfair. I assure you that people like these are retarded and require an ass booting. In-game issues can easily be resolved in-game and usually do not require the eyes for all Forum-goers to see. Like mood swings, small in-game issues can start Flame Wars. Though Flame Wars are fun to watch, it degrades the quality of the community and scares prospective members away. I have known many a player who left dRO just because of how inflammatory the Forums can be. Don’t continue the tradition.

Gender Benders. Yes, I did say earlier that lying about your gender to idiots is a fun pastime, but not at the expense of personal security. If you play a gender that isn’t your own and you get involved with someone in-game, go out of your way to set barriers, and even cast off your disguise when necessary. Do not, however wait until you’re too far in to back out. You could cause serious distress, even malice, in someone if you reveal yourself when time’s up. I won’t lie. Online relationships exist and can go horribly awry when something like this happens. If you yourself are or are trying to be in an online relationship and find out that that “she” is a “trap,” then don’t lose your cool. In more populated servers and MMOs this practice is not uncommon. The best way to handle these things is to have an open mind and accept the person for choosing the path they chose when they created their character. When it comes to the bare bones, a game is a game, and should be treated as such. Don’t let it consume you. (And you thought this one was going to be humorous, didn’t you?)

Fraudulence. Scamming, looting, and cheating are existing practices in this community, but mostly everyone is doing their part to reduce and stop it. As a citizen of dRO, it is your responsibility to help the GM Team find the asshats making the game unfair to others. Who knows? Maybe you can make a profession out of rooting out cheaters. What’s even more fun is when the cheater is found out and they subsequently try to cover their ass for what they’ve done. Spare them no quarter, because they sure as hell didn’t give back your dime. And, to all you cheaters past and present: You get marked for doing such actions, so don’t be surprised if someone yells “Cheater!” at you once you log on in-game. You deserve the scorn.

Complete Jerk-Offs. Every community has an antagonist or two. Some are just more persistent than others. There’s no surefire way in dealing with rude people and jerks, so it’s best to either ignore them or try making their online existence uncomfortable. Of course, some jerks are so open-minded that they won’t care if you libel their online personas while they make your digital existence a digital purgatory. If that’s the case, contact a GM.

Non-English Typists and Speakers. Not everyone in the world knows English, so it’s only natural that people who have different tongues try out the server. When that happens, the language barrier is tall, cold, merciless, and humorous. If you know the language someone else is speaking, try to engage in conversation. Who knows? Maybe you can use a different language as some indecipherable code. It is not recommended that you insult another person in another language. They might actually know what you’re saying, and you’ll feel like a fool when they call you out for your bad grammar in both English and <language here>.

People with Bad Grammar. Speaking of bad grammar, people with a terrible grasp of syntax will show up from time to time. Trying to decipher whatever gibberish they throw at you can prove challenging, but usually it’s not above impossible. Chances are you’ll still know what the person is talking about. It doesn’t hurt to mind your p’s and q’s, though. Grammar usage usually exposes your level of intelligence. That said, I think most of you are stupid. Well, people who overdose on shorthand and caps, at least.

Server Depopulation. Let’s face it. DragonRO isn’t as populated as it used to be. You can help ease this burden by advertising the server to others, forcing your friends to come along, or vote for our server on the Topsites Lists located at the bottom of every page on the Forum. Whining about how small our server is gets us nowhere. You must take the initiative if you want things to get better.

I could go on, but part of the fun is picking out the issues on your own and getting over them in a mature and exemplary way. Showing insight and critical thinking skills is a great way to improve your reputation on the server. Of course, I don’t expect much from any of you when I say that, so do your best. I know I offended some people when I typed the previous sentence, so I’ll apologize in advance by saying that at least Jaylor will love you. Or, if you follow the “dark side,” no one will love you. Where is your Leahcim now?

Seriously, where is he?

… Don’t give me any of that Guest crap either.

Don’t cry me a river!
Cenese

In the next installment of “Your Guide,” we’ll cover: Legendary Players.

I’m pretty sure this section will spark some debate. Be sure to do so, because I want feedback, dammit!

Section Six: Legendary Players and Noteworthy Guilds

This section of “Your Guide” covers the best of the best. There are exemplary players and even famous guilds. The people and guilds mentioned below were chosen for a variety of things, whether for their impeccable skill in-game or conduct in-Forum. Keep in mind that these people are listed here based on my frame of reference, so very old players may tar and feather me for not mentioning such and so from a time of unicorn giggles and when Communism actually worked.

Some of the people listed below do not play anymore, but the mark they left will surely remain, even if makeup is applied. Same goes for the guilds. First, we’ll start with the noteworthy players. I’ll also be referring to these people by their in-games aliases. It just seems simpler that way.

The point of this section is to motivate you to become one of the best and aspire to be like these people. Get to building that reputation!

DalamarNightson (Main Job: High Wizard). Back when he was active, Dalamar (or Dal, as most people call him) was the most powerful High Wizard on the server. He was also one of the few who achieved Instant Cast, which is nothing but an urban legend on the server nowadays. He is also the pioneer for some of dRO’s first inside jokes, including “The Dalamarmy” and the improvised “skill tables” for some jobs. Today he can be seen around the Forums every now and then, welcoming back veteran players and continuously denying that he’ll come back to the game. In fact, I see him say that kind of stuff on every post he makes. Do I sense some denial?

Tonkie (Main Job: Champion). I like to refer to Tonkie as dRO’s first motivational speaker. When times were grave, Tonkie stepped up on the Forums to boost the morale of the members of the community. He also has one of the strongest senses of justice on the server. He never hesitated to investigate prospective cheaters. He’s also one of the friendliest people you’ll ever meet. It’s also worthy to mention that he doesn’t prefer using Asura Strike on his Champ. That’s right, he’s pro enough to take you down without using Asura.

Darkest (Main Job: Stalker). This person is rather interesting to talk about. He had the reputation of being the strongest Stalker on the server and he is also one of the most articulate members of the Forum. He’s most famous in-game for his dueling strategies. I’ve seen him take down Assassin Crosses and Champions like nothing. He tended to adapt to the foe he was facing. I was never able to take him down with my High Wizard because he realized using a Bow was much more effective than direct combat. I must also say that I engineered this nightmare, because I was the one who leeched him to Stalker. Darkest is still a member of the Forums, taking down idiots with logic that said idiots refuse to accept.

Kim~ (Main Job: Champion/High Priest). Before the Great Server Wipe, Kim was the richest person on the server, with zeny amassed to the hundred millions. I’m not kidding on this one. She was dRO’s first Pimp. Thanks to the server wipe, Kim is now a Champion, dishing out the hurt to those fool enough to try a cut-and-dry strategy on her in PvP. She’s also a fairly good Emp Breaker. And sorry if this is short. I’ve got nothing much else to say.

NukeFall (Main Job: Assassin Cross/Creator). A former GM for his scripting prowess, Nuke’s legitimate characters were feared for a few things. Before the Great Wipe, Nuke was infamous for being a last minute castle-taker in WoE. After the Great Wipe, Nuke decided to try his hand at the Creator class, where he made countless people cry with the dreaded Acid Demonstration. Besides being a strong player, Nuke was well-known for his apparent attitude problems on the forum. Nuke isn’t mean, just cold. Like Cuisi, stupid people and illogic made him the way he was. Ever since he resigned as a GM, he’s disappeared from dRO’s radar. I don’t think offering to pay for his Acid Demo addiction will bring him back, either.

Kaaru (Main Job: Stalker). I’m not putting Kaaru down for her skills in-game, but rather her dedication. She was one of those players who would stay up way past their bedtime just to sit around in Payon Square. If that isn’t dedication, then I don’t know what is. Well, maybe keeping the server itself up, but that’s left to crazy people who can take a lot of abuse. She was also the inspiration for one of the most short-lived inside jokes the server has ever seen. For the sake of proper decency, I won’t put it in this section. Just ask Cuisi about it.

There are other players that should have their own descriptions, but my knowledge about them is very limited. Oh, and don’t ask to be included in this section either. You forfeit your ability to procreate if you do.

Now that we have players out of the way, let’s move on to some of the better guilds that once stomped around on the server. Of course, I can’t think of anything for these guilds to give them their own paragraph, so I’ll just list them off and give a one-liner for each.

- The Black Wing (freaking scary)
- The Pirates of Rune-Midgard/The Pirates of dRO (conglomeration of pain)
- PowerWalkers (not on the low-carb diet)
- Infernal Affairs (what’s so infernal about it?)
- Shichinintai (one-man army)
- FOXHOUND (they just keep getting bigger)
- Nerd Alert! (strength in unity, and in their twenty-sided dies)
- Godlike (superheroes in disguise?)

I'm done with this section now because I don't know how else to drag it on. I would tack in a "Wall of Shame," but that would get me stoned.

I can’t keep up with these closings!
Cenese

In the next section of “Your Guide,” we’ll end this thing off.

And here’s the final section. I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Conclusion: Point to the Future

By now, you should be a functional member of the dRO Society. If not, then you’re unfit to play. If that’s the case, I’m pretty sure a 9999/9999/9999 rate server will work for you. But let’s not go off advertising other servers now, hm?

As we’re nearing the end of this guide, I have a few more morsels of advice for you. Think of these as concepts you should always remember while you’re here:

You are not God. If there’s one trend I’ve been noticing on the server, it’s that people have been developing a “God Complex.” Signs of the “God Complex” include, but are not limited to: irritability, putting down others with little to no provocation, unwillingness to help others without supplying a sufficient reason, spending your tax cut on something unnecessary, believing you are The Economy of the server, believing that everyone else will fail if they do not come to you, acting like a jerk, thinking you won’t get in trouble for your actions, and thinking you’re always right. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s these kinds of people. They fail to realize that a nuke and a ban slapping can stop them. Not only does a “God Complex” cheapen the community, but it also sets a bad example for new players. It only breeds more stupid people. Stupid people with the right to vote.

You are the recipient of a free and voluntary service. Many people are forgetting this simple fact. DragonRO is run by a group of people who go out of their own way to provide a free service in which they volunteer to maintain. The GM Team has their own lives and agendas outside RO. They are not around to tend to your every whim. Of course people will be unavailable from time to time. That’s natural. They’re not paid to keep this place up. That said, complaining incessantly about the tiniest things will not make anything better. Not only does it irritate others, but it also irritates the GM Team. You should applaud their efforts for putting up with the issues that no one else has the mettle to tolerate, because everyone knows that if I ran the server, you’d all be leaving right about now. Or, you would make me crack and force me to make your digital existence hell. Whichever comes first. Just remember that the higher-ups aren’t paid to take your crap.

You decide the destiny of dRO. That’s right. The future of DragonRO rests firmly on your shoulders. Hopefully you have a strong back. Every incident or joyous occasion that happens on the server relates to you somehow. Outsiders will judge this server by the actions of its members. Everyone knows that their eyes are much more judgmental than our own. When your misconduct shows up on the Forum, everyone will see it. In a sense, you can make or break this server’s reputation. Don’t mess up.

I can’t be funny all the time. Hey, the comedy has to stop somewhere. For me it stopped two sections ago. I do hope, however, that you got a few laughs from this thing.


In all seriousness, this ends off “Your Guide to the dRO Community.” The bits of advice and information I have given you were provided thanks to two years of my own experience on the server. Hopefully this guide has enlightened and inspired you to be a better member of the dRO Community. Apply what you’ve learned here. I didn’t waste a good two weeks or so of my life just to make you “lol.” That said, I’m done here.

Now, go forth and get awesome (within legal and responsible bounds)!

I’m not spoon feeding you anymore!
Cenese

Legal Garbage
Should anyone else decide to mercilessly rip this guide from its original home (The DragonRO Forum), please give credit where credit is due. This guide was written by Cenese. Everything else belongs to their respective owners. I don’t expect this to show up anywhere else anyway. If that isn’t the case, then please give credit where credit is due. Plagiarism makes me unhappy.

This may or may not be helpful or funny depending on your outlook on life. Sensitivity also plays a role. And to cover a few holes, I don’t hate democracy. I just dislike the people who ruin it.

Appendix A: Democracy in dRO

Now let’s discuss the concept of democracy on the server. According to dictionary.com, democracy is “government by the people, exercised directly or through elected representatives.”

Well, from what I remember, we didn’t choose our GM Team through a popular vote or bungled election, and the last time an important decision was actually made by the players themselves was, well, I don’t remember. So, let’s rename this section and go from there. What can we rename this section, you ask? We can name it:

“How the People’s Democratic Community of DragonRO Works”

Rest assured, DragonRO is democratic and designed with the people in mind. I think it’s a community too. With the title out of the way, let’s see how decisions are made on this server. First, we need an example issue, known as a “bill” if you want to put it in democratic terms. Let’s choose, I don’t know, make tuxedoes always wearable? Yeah, that looks like a good one. We’ll refer to it by not referring to it all for the duration of this passage.

Alright, so here’s how it works. First, someone posts in Payon Square and raises the question. They then go on with making a well thought out poll whose selections are neither alienating nor offensive. Following the creation of the poll, the original poster writes a logical and rational explanation as to why or why not something needs changing. The topic is then posted for all judging eyes to see, and a “debate” takes place. Supposedly if enough people vote for the change it happens.

Debates in DragonRO are usually long and drawn out, yet each post is constructive and critical… against a certain person and not the issue itself. Of course, you do have the asshats who like putting their, I’ll call ‘em, “ha’ pennies” in on the argument. In fact, these jerks’ opinions are so inflammatory (albeit simple and unreadable) that the entire thread the issue is in explodes in an even longer flame war.

And yet, intelligent individuals try desperately to wade through the nonsense and try to keep the original issue’s interests on-track, but that never works. As a result, they jump in on the flame war that was started way back in Page 5 (the topic is now on its 30th page) and make the thread even more unreadable.

As for the poll? That doesn’t matter, because nobody looks at numbers anymore. They’d rather read the meat of the argument and find a way to break down one another’s soul than actually discuss the topic at hand.

The Moderating Team, at this point thoroughly ticked off and exhausted, finally decides to lock the topic because it no longer makes sense. But that’s okay. One week after this fiasco, a different person renews the thread under a different title and the procedure repeats. Of course, the issue was never resolved, and probably never will be.

That’s democracy in action!

Well, your democracy at least. But let’s move behind the scenes. While the flames are being fed in-forum, the higher-ups of the server are working sagaciously about the issue. After much debating amongst themselves and weighing the consequences, they finally reach a decision… for something else. Changes are immediately enacted, all without the server’s knowing.

A few days pass and an observant player notices the changes, which are usually detrimental for a number of reasons. They then go to the forums and voice out, complaining about everything from their menopause to the actual issues. And once again, a poll is made and the glorious cycle of democracy continues.

Remember kids: A government on any scale is the way it is because you made it that way!

I hope you like satire!
Cenese

Appendix B: Glossary of Terms

The following quagmire of letters and syllables is known as a glossary. I put this together so you don’t sound like a total boob for misusing a term. Keep in mind that I may not even know what the real meanings of these words are, but hey it’s better than nothing. These are not listed in alphabetical order. That order’s for chumps and the obsessive-compulsive.

Gank- (1) In PvP, to kill another player without agreeing to a formal duel. (2) In WoE, to take a guild’s castle with little notice or opportunity to retaliate

Disconnect- The act of logging out of the game. This can be voluntary or involuntary depending on the player’s will or Internet connection.

Down- (1) In-game, the state of being knocked out due to PvM or PvP. (2) The state of the server itself being down. It is also the source of many Forum annoyances.

PvP- Player versus Player. Do I really need to spell it out for you?

PvM- Player versus Monster, or going out into the game world and committing suicide.

RO- The abbreviation for Ragnarok Online, the game you are playing. It can be fun or an annoyance depending on the way you handle things.

Drop- Items that a monster gives up when you kill it. Some are pretty worthwhile while others are pretty worthless. Anything you cannot equip is useless.

Guild- A group of players that have formed together under a common emblem for a common cause and purpose. Guilds exist as a mode of communication for close friends. A guild is also necessary to fight in a WoE.

WoE- Abbreviation for War of Emperium, RO’s idea of a sick joke. Guilds storm things called castles as they try to take and keep them within a two-hour period. A source of much Forum drama.

Drama- Something annoying that goes on in the Forums every few days. Drama is arbitrary and often stems from stupid arguments or misunderstandings. This usually starts a Flame War and the slow decay of the Forum Moderators’ sanity.

GM- Game Master, the god of the game world. They make sure that things go smoothly while people play the game. Prone to losing sanity and their tenuous grasp of the world.

Moderator- The kind of person that runs the show on the Forums. The equivalent of a GM, Moderators are also prone to losing sanity and their tenuous grasp of the world. Can also stop Flame Wars and make people feel bad.

Flame War- An event that happens on the Forums and is the only true form or entertainment, apparently. This usually starts from Drama in-game and doesn’t stop until a set amount of swears are put into the thread. The required number of swears varies per thread.

Gunner- A myth. Stop asking about it.

Ninja- Also a myth.

Pirate- Overused noun. Choose something else.

Idiot- A person who cannot comprehend the English language. Most recognizable in their improper use of syntax and grammar. Ironically, they end up being some of the most strongest players in-game. Someone should set their hard drives aflame.

Flame- Usually an unprovoked insult towards another person on the Forums. This starts off a Flame War.

Logic- A myth. Don’t ask about it either.

Sex- A questionable in-game act of love(?) Hard as you may try, it just can’t happen on the Internet. Repeatedly pressing the Insert key won’t work either.

4chan- The name of a website which contains some good stuff and some bad stuff. More bad than good, really. Also the source of several inside jokes on the Forums. If you ever find that place, never go to /d/. Fair warning.

Maturity- See logic.

Feel free to add your own!

- Cenese

Appendix C: The Jobs of this Game

Like many MMOs, Ragnarok Online has a job system. Each job has its own set of strengths and weaknesses, as well as their own set of skills. The jobs of RO each fulfill a specific purpose, and appeal to a variety of play styles. Which do you prefer? Maybe you need to read this section for a little refresher course about RO’s jobs.

And since nobody on dRO will even look at you if you’re not a High Class, I’ll just describe the Reborn Classes. You’re going to end up as a third tier job in two weeks after you start playing anyway, so may as well start here. And with that, let’s start with…

Lord Knight. These suckers deal damage and love it. They have this one skill, “Berserk,” that pisses off anyone they’re dueling against. It’s also useful for breaking Emperiums. Come talk to me when you have something funny to say about these things, because I don’t see anything in it.

High Wizard. For you sadists and “pyromaniacs” out there, this job is for you. Nothing screams “overkill” louder than a Frost Diver + Lord of Vermilion/Jupiter Thunder Combo. This twisted privilege is toned down by the fact that anything, even your grandmother, can kill a High Wizard. Why is that? Every Wizard had to trade up for paper skin when they applied for the job. You didn’t agree to that condition when you chose the job, you say? Well, next time read those quest requirements a bit more carefully. Kids these days and their instant gratification.

Master Smith. The job description for these guys says that they can make any weapon out of anything. If that’s the case, then can you fashion me an Excalibur with these 1,000,000,000 Jellopy I farmed all last month? I don’t have anything against this job, but would it kill you to wear a real shirt? Half-shirts don’t work on anyone. Sure, you may think it looks like utter crap in sprite form, but just get a load of that train wreck of active wear in a 3D game. I’m looking at you, Final Fantasy X.

Sniper. In truth, the Falcon that always tags along with these guys does all the work. All I see the actual person do is jazzercise. It’s the Falcon that gets to the dirty work. Male Snipers also suffer from the half-shirt dilemma. That and no abs. At least Master Smiths have abs.

High Priest. For those of you that like sticking with the “truth and justice” mindset without actually killing something, this is the job to choose. Sure, the job directly references to some form of religion, but since when has a religion got to do with anything? Just be glad the world of Rune-Midgard doesn’t subscribe to the Church of Scientology. Otherwise you’d have to look forward to killing Overlord Xenu instead of Thanatos. But then again, is there really any difference between the two? I don’t know. Check Wikipedia.

Assassin Cross. SONIC BLOW! DAR DAR DAR DAR DAR DAR DAR!

Paladin. I’m not touching this subject with a twenty-foot pole, but I do know that the sprite is ugly for both males and females. What else do I have to say? Well, the bird they ride is pretty ugly too. Choose this job if you don’t think too highly of yourself. Cheer up, kid. You’ll be an ostrich someday!

Scholar. The only real time I’ve seen a Scholar in action was when she kept killing herself over and over and over again. Just be glad you don’t Level Down whenever you die in this game. Level downs are torturous.

Biochemist. Playing God, eh? Hasn’t watching anime taught you anything? You don’t go around trying to create life. Otherwise you’ll just end up sulking about how you ended up dismembering yourself over something as petty as reanimation. Then you actually start an anime series. Do we really need more of those? Do we?

Minstrel/Gypsy. These things exist?

Champion. This is a job for those who think they can answer everything with their fists. Well, did it work when that girl asked if you liked her? Have fun with the lawsuit! And the soap.

Stalker. Why didn’t they just call this thing “Rapist” and be done with it? I mean, they accomplish the same thing, after all. Stalkers like touching things. They like putting their hands in places they don’t belong. This job has “serial killer” written all over it. At least people who play this job make it easier for me to inform the FBI on who to look out for. I think this is where Dateline is getting their material for their “To Catch a Predator” features. I never knew so many creeps played this game.

And with that, this section is done. No matter what job you decide to go with, I hope you can live with yourself afterwards. Because there’s no going back, and there’s no reset waiting for you when you click that one stat one too many times.

I’m helpful!
- Cenese

Postscript: One Final Recommendation

I log on here on a whim today, and I still find that this guide is still standing and stickied, in all its rusted-and-limed-out glory.

On my first instinct, I thought, "Hey, they remember me."

Then, on second thought, "Oh damn, they still remember me."

Then, on third thought, "Or, maybe they're just lazy."

Finally, I skipped the fourth thought and moved onto the fifth, "Shit, maybe someone who still plays should update the guide instead. I'm just an old bastard anyway."

Kids in the audience, I'm sorry you had to read some of those choice words.

Truly though, I'm happy that some of you out there are fighting the good fight against the porings, not falling into the seductive and (seemingly) safe arms of the succubi and incubi, and running the hell away whenever you see a player-character with just a hodgepodge of letters, numbers, and dollar signs try to initiate conversation with you.

Your determination and stubborn persistence to keep on playing helps keep the server alive. That's something to be proud of.

I must admit that, ever since I quit the game over a year ago, I have never reinstalled dRO and have never set foot inside the game world ever since. And I do not intend to break that habit now. I have moved on, and am playing a few... other games (none of them are related to RO. I wouldn't turn coats that easily).

That said, I think it's high time for someone else to take the worn reigns of this humble guide and give it a revamp.

You know I can't. I'm as misinformed about this game as I was back a year ago. You can't take another guy's advice if they aren't in tune to the situation.

I guess this is a simple request to just void this entire thread, archive it or something, and let someone fresh, still active, and in good capacity to share his or her experiences and advice with others.

Of course, the successor may not be as funny as me, but hey, to each their own style.

In closing, I wish for a challenger to appear.

I'm just a crazy old man,
Cenese

Despite saying I'm done with this thread, I can't help but think that I'm not really done with it. Sure, I've covered how to get started, how to be a member of the dRO Community, and how to convince a few gullible players into thinking you have boobs (apologies to the ladies out there), but I just can't convince myself that I'm done here. What am I missing? What am I missing?!

Well, one night after sitting around in my dorm room painfully tak-takking away at a philosophy paper I had due the following morning, the voice of Thomas Aquinas, penman of the Summa Theologica, called out to me from my textbook and instructed me thus:

Well, he didn't say anything, really. His concept of law just gave me a bad papercut.

But that minor flesh wound sparked some sort of inspiration in me that I had not felt since I started writing this thing. It was, dare I say, fabulous. Yeah, I think I'm man enough to type that without losing my masculinity. Yeah, I'll keep saying that.

Anyway, this little tidbit of inspiration drove me to log on here, reply to this thread once again, totally fabricate the story I just told you, and start on a new section:

Appendix D: Aging Disgracefully: How to Properly Leave the World of dRO

...You'll be able to read the finished product later.

Until then, mercilessly and seductively delete all posts in this thread not penned by me, and I'll return with something that will make this Forum Section worth visiting again.

No fooling,
Cenese

Appendix I Gave up on Keeping Track of These Letters: Aging Disgracefully (How to Properly Leave DragonRO)

It’s alright. It happens to everyone. You have all the equipment, upgrades, and cards that you could ever want. You have a Level 99 aura that singes anyone who comes within a one foot radius of you. You have killed so many other players in duels that the GM Team has labeled you as a menace to society. What do you do next?

Well, if you’re reading this, you must be considering quitting DragonRO. I mean, we’ve all considered it once before, right? There’s nothing left to do. You’re bored. All you ever want to do in Payon Square nowadays is just sit by the side of the road and put up an away message from the moment you log on to the moment you log off. Nobody is online anymore. Or, maybe you want to find another place to wave around your electronic phallus.

So, after considering all the consequences from all sides, you decide to leave the game. It’s not a big deal. Everyone has to go sooner or later. The question is how exactly do you leave? Silently? Loudly? Annoyingly? Begrudgingly? Or how about dishonourably? This is what this section of “Your Guide” is all about. How exactly do you leave dRO after the love is gone?

That’s simple. You have several options too. In this section, you’ll read about some of the ways people in the past have left the dRO community. Whichever one of the following you choose is completely up to you, and if you’re brave enough for it, try to come up with your own methods. The following ways to quit are listed in no particular order. And yes, they’ve all been attempted by various members of the community. So, let’s start with:

The Hemmingway. Everyone loves a concise person. Drop all of your items. Delete all of your characters. Log on to the Forums. Announce your retirement. Say goodbye. Don’t look back.

The Turncoat. So it’s understandable that you’ve come to hate dRO in its entirety, and for some sick and twisted reason, you still want to play RO. I mean sure, there aren’t any other free MMOs out there that could trump this game. Okay, so I’ll admit it’s hard to find jiggling sprite boobies done in RO’s fashion. That’s more than enough reason to stay in RO on another server. So maybe you’ll come across a better server to play on with a much larger player base and maybe even nicer people on a whole. Go ahead and download their client info and become immersed in their norms. And to add more salt to the wound, go ahead and announce your jumping ship to dRO’s people. Be as spiteful as possible when announcing which server you’re on now, because you won’t be seeing these scrubs anymore. Or you can see these people again, if only to rub in their faces how old and burnt out dRO is now. The Mods are way too lenient to give you so much as a temporary ban anyway.

The New Frontiersman. Similar to The Turncoat, but instead of staying with RO you choose to play another MMO. I mean come on; it’s been what, six years since RO was released to the public? I’m pretty sure there’s something better out there. There’s FFXI, WoW, LoTR… Take your pick out of all the acronyms. Also feel free to rub it in dRO’s remaining community, as most of them are too cheap to play another game. Alright, so I admit it’s kind of arbitrary to continuously pay for a game that requires you to stay in front of your monitor for an undefined amount of time. But on the bright side, some of those other newfangled games allow you to play as another species (which may not necessarily be a good thing. But all I have to say on that matter is: catgirls. Mmm…

The Ninja. Just leave. Simple as that. Don’t leave any suicide notes, just leave. Nobody will notice that you’re gone anyway, you speck of dust. Many former players of dRO have chosen this way to go, mainly because it’s the easiest. No muss and no fuss.

The Rocky Horror Picture Go. Oh man. You were able to pose as a gender you really weren’t for so long that others think you are that gender. That’s something to applaud! But somewhere down the line you messed up royally, and now everyone hates you for it. May as well whirl up a shitstorm before you pack your stuff and head out. You should have known better than to think people would accept you for who you are and be able to look past online personas. Be extra sure you have some friends on hand to riddle your Good Riddance Thread with MS Paint jobs and an unforeseeable amount of derailments. Now go out there and pay for a real sex change. Or even better, just pack away that angry inch and just look the part. You had plenty of experience showing them online (or rather, not showing them).

Calling the Waaaaambulance. What’s that? Somebody stole one of your favourite items or castles and doesn’t intend on giving it back to you? Oh, show that son of a gun what for! Appeal to the masses and make everyone choose a side! You know as well as I do that justice is best served in the waste that is public opinion. Be sure to isolate your offender as much as possible, and soon enough either one of you will be too pissed off to even continue playing the game. This method doesn’t even need a stolen item to kick off. Just get mad that the GM Team decided to nix a palette swap or some animation. That’s the equivalent to stealing, right?

The “You just HAD to be there” Method. Simply post on the Forums announcing your “resignation” (oh, like playing an MMO decided the fate of the free world) and ambiguously refer to the bongmonglers who wronged you. Don’t name names though. And always be nice enough to point out to the exceptions! I’m POSITIVE they’ll miss you. And those should be the only clues you leave for the rest of those out there who weren’t there when somebody stepped on your crotch in-game and forced you to go back to the womb. Fan fictions and speculation are sure to follow.

The Thorn-in-Side Method. Sure, you can leave the game, but that doesn’t mean you can’t continue dicking around on the Forums. Be sure to be as annoying as possible, and mention in all of your posts following your (lol) resignation that you’re never coming back; or you’ve found something else to play; or you have soooooooo much more free time on your hands. Also write about current server affairs with an air that you actually still give a bit about the server. It makes you seem empathetic, and people eat that stuff up. People will go all “Aw man we miss you so much come back!” and you’ll be all “No way I play this now go to Hell.” Yeah, we get a lot of those kinds of people here. You won’t be breaking any ground with this method, I tell you what.

I’m not sure if I’ve covered every method people in the past have employed to announce their leaving the hallowed ground that is dRO. However, I will say that I am confident that each of these aforementioned methods has been able to make someone out there mad about something. So when you finally decide that it’s time to go, be sure to be as inflammatory as possible on the Forums. Real gameplay on RO died out with the introduction of the second job change, so it is no wonder that it is your civic duty to leave in a hail of “I hate yous” and “Don’t come backs.”

Beat it, everyone!
Cenese

Postpostpostpostscript: Postscript

That's it. I'm done. I can't help but feel that what started off with a bang and waves of applause ended with a fizzle and a few unsatisfied genitalia. But that's not my problem any longer. I've said what I think you need to know to make it out and leave this place in the most entertaining ways possible.

But it's still outdated and spanned what, two to eighty years? Yeah, this guide was so hideously stretched out to proportions that would give even Goatse a run for its money.

I look at this place from time to time (maybe one to three times a month), and witness what kind of growth this community has gone through. And what I have to say is: nothing's changed. It's just as I had left it that long ago. People come, go, piss, moan, loathe, whatever. We all come back in one way, shape, or form, and check up on how good ol' dRO's doing.

Is this a triumph? Well I'm making note here, but I don't see a huge success. But don't let that grind you down. As long as people come here you must be doing something right.

Keep doing that right thing.

Whatever it is.

-Cenese

A nice compliment to you, I'm amazed you wrote all of this (The longer it is, the less inspiring it gets to read). But I read some of it. It's nice to see that majority of what you say about the GM team is true. I <3 Cuisy's sarcastic picture replies.